DERANGED

As a tradition, in every special occasion that VIAJERRO is part of, like the Pintaflores Festival or the Bodypainting Competitions, we create our own personal remembrance to commemorate the event. The 50th Charter Day Celebration was no exception and we took the moment to show the public of our new logo, the dragonfly.
All the VIAJERRO crew were given shirts as a sign that we have done it and we are going to soar high like the dragonflies who fly swifter and more aggressive. But one shirt came back and flew at our back gate. This time the dragonfly came out tattered, wounded and vandalized.
I cannot help but laugh and shook my head for it has proven my hunch that it will come back like one dragonfly who has strayed away from its pond...I was right.
This deed is a very desperate one, it might be very inhuman for all of us but it is a natural action for those who have too much in their hearts. People who have great burden and loads that they cannot carry because they do not want to share their loads to anyone else to be supported and helped by friends and families.
I cannot build any grudge or think negative thoughts about this person for "she" deserves to be redirected to a happier life, she needs to be loved and understood because maybe all her life "love" is a word that has been translated to "sex" and nothing else.
In these new times, moral conduct and good manners have been deleted in many. It seems that most think that one's family name is so easy to be edited in Photoshop or maybe ignored like you want to ignore one person who wants to befriend you on facebook. In our younger days, when my mom was still alive, we are always reminded that we have nothing to be proud of but our family name which is the only legacy we could leave our children. As gays, my brother and I have have been accepted by all our family and relatives, and we are always reminded not to do anything shameful to the name we have been given.
In these days, one's family name is not important anymore. But for us, me especially bearing my mom's complete family name and my father's as well, we are always very careful not to step on our names, our dignities as Estampadors and Cabaleses. This deed (the harrassment of the shirt) might make many furious and angry but let us not let our emotions run over our sanity. Instead, we just have to understand the doer and pray that may the light shine upon her and her heart too because I strongly feel her heart has become so hard that the blood cannot pump anymore beauty into her soul.
As educated and human beings, let us just try understanding the one who are not blessed with education, with right guidance and breeding.
Let us help them see the beauty of life instead blocking them the sunshine we have been enjoying. Living in the caves and no creativity can be hazardous to those outside.

From Dreams to Se7en

a glimpse of the previous bodypainting competitions. music: Valley of Dreams by Enigma

LEGACY

I have been searching deeply for an inspiration to write another post but nothing was found until today. Hearing a news from my dear sister Arlene about my little brother having a gall bladder operation in the not so far away place called "America". Dialing his number for many times just to hear he is OK or just for him to hear our voice will mean everything will be okay but who answers me is the female answering machine...
It is Mother's Day today and this post is for all the mothers whom I know, who I met, who are everybody's mother. Some of us do not really know are mothers - why they are so protective, why do they have to watch what we eat and why we don't take our life seriously.
In the last decade of my mom's life, I can truly say that she has proved her point and her role as the pillar of our home. We have come so close together that even five years since she has passed away, I stood up from my gardening chore and went to my father and asked where mom was. "She was gone already a long time ago," my father answers me with a questioning look. Suddenly, goosebumps. I swear she was behind me when I was loosening the soil in the garden.
Sometimes I see her pass by ,dressed in her favorite purple housedress.
Maybe these are signs that she wants me to visit her grave because she misses the hourly talks as she watches me cut the fabrics for my clients (and ended up making a pant instead of a blouse because she never stops talking), the 12:00 am habit when I she will wake me up to accompany her in the dining table for a quick snack (yes, of left over "pinirito" and rice) for she is hungry again, or maybe I just missed her excited look and criticisms when I make her "once-a-month-new-dress" for her fashion show when she gets out to get her monthly pension in the bank.
We had our many cold wars and many dramatic moments that surpassed the number of happy moments. Our relationship is not different from yours but what makes our relation greater is that she has become one image that I still look up too, one image of authority that needs to be followed and one image who has implanted a legacy not just in me but in stepdaughters as well. These two stepdaughters who became our (me and alvin's) mothers as well.

We have become our sisters' responsiblity, Nang Nene and Nang Alma have become our guards when we were teased as "gays" in the streets, our bankers when we have to study somewhere else and live with them, our "platforms" when we perform for the public for they brought us higher to elation because they are there to cheer us up together with our parents.
We have grown up and our sisters have already become "true" mothers with their own families. They already have their own wars within their members, they already have their own trophies to boost to the other mothers but they never have stopped being our mothers when our mom had long gone. It is because we can never stop loving no matter what, that is mother's legacy.
To my two mothers/sisters, thank you for the ears, the eyes, and the hearts that never stopped beating for their children...

Di ba nong?


photos courtesy of Saqueo Magallanes Cabales

tHreading a different path

The busy March schedule kept many things postponed, like the trip to Aklan, the opening sale of the VIAJERRO 2010 Summer Collection, and the shoot with Albert. But we have finally managed to squeeze in some, and it is the photoshoot with Albert Leonid in Canlaon.
It took us about forty minutes to the end of the motor road from the City of Canlaon to Brgy. Mapot and another many minutes to Sudlon Falls. "Sudlon" really lives up to its name because we really need to come inside the deep cavern and along the river of waters and boulders.
We have arrived at last! The sky was gloomy, the surrounding was quiet except for the heavy gush of water of the falls. Awed, I was. This is something different, something that I really need because it is with nature that you can enjoy God's given life. We are too busy with finishing the deadline and it is here that time and yout life seem to flow endlessly, nothing can stop the flow even the nature-created dams of big stones.
And we started shooting...
I had a hard time thinking of the concept of the photo shoot, but once you get the vibe of nature breathing underneath and around you everything falls to pieces like the dew from the clouds to each leaf of the Canlaon forest, to the damp moss and gathered together to the little creek forming into a wider body of water.
The water was cold, fresh and filtered. Like being touched by a forest goddess every nerve of your body seemed to relax with the water. "This is what I always wanted", I said to myself.
But time has to be stopped and we have to pack our things and leave nature alone before we wake the sleeping gods of nature.
Back to the road, back to the dirt with nothing much to carry but my camera and many memories - I again felt fear and danger on the rough road ahead. My mind was busy with the images of people we have passed along, the azure sky rejoicing the birth of Summer, the dust powdering our weary and hungry faces and suddenly...
I felt the road on my right side come near me, we were sliding the rough and dirty road! It was like a scene from Matrix where everything was running in 2 frames per second, everything was slowed down.
My legs were trembling but didn't show, my ears went dumb, my shoes were colored with dust yet my camera was safe. Haha, I can really do it. I did it. This has been appearing in my mind many years ago, like deja vu. It was deja vu.
Assessing the damage, there was a little. A few scratches on the motorcycle and on me. Blood flowed a little but it the sting was starting to take its role.
We arrived in Panubigan countless of minutes after. The pain started but it was nothing. It was nothing but it meant many things, I have taken a break, I have riden a motorbike again after years of fear and the wound was the trophy.
It didn't matter. In whatever we have done especially in our age (!), there is nothing more to regret for everything is worth what it is. Live life, enjoy, be ready and share...

Threading a different path? It is finding new paths and destinations, new thread to sew my designs and new concepts for VIAJERRO.



the IMAGES of the adventure in this link